Navigating Ambiguous Loss

 

In "Caregiving and Dementia: Navigating Ambiguous Loss and Grief" Regan Olsson summarizes Lori Nisson's suggestions for "... ways you can work through these feelings, begin to grieve the losses and stay connected and present for the person you love while also building up your strength and resiliency." She uses the metaphor of ambiguous loss, "... a loss that is unclear, has no resolution and no predictable ending or closure ..." and advises:

  • Acknowledge your sadness and take time to grieve. – Feelings of fear, anger and guilt are normal; share them with supportive friends, a support group or a health care professional.
  • Let go of what you can't control. – You can't control your loved one's memory loss, but you can control your reaction. Take hold of what you can and how you respond to situations.
  • Connect with others. – As your relationship becomes more one-sided, connect with others who can be fully present and support you.
  • Ask for and accept help. – Remind yourself you are doing the best that you can and it's OK to ask others for help and support when you need it.
  • Take care of yourself. – Your role as a caregiver continues to change as your person does. Give yourself permission to take care of yourself while caring for your loved one; both are equally important. Stay physically active, eat well, take personal breaks and do what you need to relieve stress.
  • Find a creative outlet. – You can find creative ways to express your grief and loss through writing, painting or other visual art forms.
  • Allow yourself to still have hopes and dreams. – Allow yourself to grieve the changes in your life plans but give yourself space to transform your expectations and make a new plan for the future based on the positive things you have in your life.

(cf Present-Moment Reality (2008-11-05), Rebalancing Doing and Being (2011-02-28), Fear of Failing (2015-07-08), Fraying at the Edges (2016-05-04) Mantra - Touch and Go (2017-04-01), Distilled to Pure Love (2019-01-04), ...) - ^z - 2021-12-28